The Karma Credit Union
by joshua kaplan, 2019
it was a beautiful building. outside, showing the angles and geometric artistry of wright effortlessly joining the graceful elegant curves of furness. inside, an ivory pillared masterpiece of polished granite floors, tables and desks of hand-rendered ebony, and hints and highlights of pure gold, garnet, and turquoise. a true... bank.
this was the Karma Credit Union, where men over the age of 32 might deposit their good deeds for the betterment of all humanity.
Women, of course, were welcome as well, and more so. There was no age requirement for them. different animal.
He was a handsome man; tall, dark, and well groomed. his beard was immaculate, never deviating from it's periphery or depth, this a result of a lifetime dedicated to the art of being magnificent.
His clothing was of the most recent trends for a man of his age, and he walked with the confidence of perfection.
this was his first visit.
"hello." He said cheerfully to the woman facing him on the other side of the long, shining counter.
Her name was Doris, but she preferred Dottie. Her skin was almost as dark as the ebony counter, her hair long enough only to give her scalp hue, and her eyes shone with a clarity that made people pause.
"hello, sir." Dottie replied non-committedly, friendly but distant. "Welcome to the KCU. How may i help you?"
"Well, this is my first visit." He said, head tilted back slightly, his wide smile proudly displaying a masterwork of dental achievement. "and i would like to make a deposit."
"That's wonderful, sir. What will you be depositing today?"
"i gave 3 homeless men some money, let a guy into traffic at the gas station, and told an old woman at the supermarket that i liked her hat."
"Yes, i see that right here on your screen." Dottie said cheerfully, as she deftly manipulated the keyboard at her station. "Will that be all?"
The Man stared expectantly for several moments, finally realizing that Dottie wasn't giving him anything in exchange. not even a lollipop.
"And?" He said, hands opened upward. "Don't i get anything back?"
"Sir?"
"I just gave you my deposit. Where's my currency, or whatever you guys exchange in this giant echo chamber?"
"This is the Karma Credit Union, sir." Dottie replied matter-of-factly, fingers interwoven at her sternum. "We don't 'exchange' anything. When you make a deposit here, you are giving your grace to the universe, for everyone to withdraw. including you."
"Should you wish to make an immediate exchange for your karma," She continued, "the Karma ATMs are located outside. Anyone can use them."
"I saw the lines out there. they're huge." The Man said, looking out the plate crystal windows which aligned the lower level of the structure, at the vastness of humanity queued up at an equally vast cascading array of KATMs which stretched to the horizon.
"It's a short wait, sir."
"What do i get when i put my stuff into the Karma ATM?"
"The machine broadcasts your good deeds on all social media channels you subscribe to, and all other public conduits, giving you a quick coat of self-esteem, and the scent of dutiful righteousness." Dottie stared at the man. "You may also gain the respect and admiration of your audience, manifest new business opportunities, and elicit interest in a potential paramour."
"That's what i'm talkin' 'bout!" The Man said musically, moving his feet in a subdued dance of joy. "What do you guys get out of it?"
"The KATM system calculates the overall grace of your entry, as it applies to the universe, subtracting the karmic exchange of your intention multiplied by your expectation of reward." Dottie said, no longer looking at the Man. "The remainder, the absolute value of your entry, as every good deed has value even when it is done for a selfish reason, is then taken as a fee, paid to the KCU."
"Okay, so even if i just use the KATM i'm helping the universe, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Why in the world would anyone choose to come in here," The Man said spiritedly, more to the room than to Dottie, "when they can just use the KATM, be rewarded, and still help the universe?"
"Sir, the rewards of the KATM are not governed by the Karma Credit Union." Dottie said, but the Man wasn't listening.
The Man was looking to his right, and seeing a ragged beggar at the next window, exclaimed, "Like you, Old man! You look like you need all the right now help you can get! why aren't you using the KATM?"
The Old Man looked to his much younger counterpart and gave him a soft, sad smile, saying nothing, and turned back to his own business.
"He has no social media or friends to share his deeds with." Dottie quietly interjected. "No family or home. he is alone."
"What is he depositing?" The Man asked Dottie, his excitement now waning under the shroud of an old man's suffering. "What reward can he possibly expect?"
"He has no expectation. He gave half of his food to a stray dog. it was all he had to eat that day." Dottie said softly. "He is in pain and he will die. that is his reward."
"That's it!?" The Man exclaimed. "To be dead? That's no kind of reward."
"He would tell you differently."
"What is the value of his deposit then?" The Man asked, still staring at the sad image of a dying man. "What will be gained?"
"perhaps a premature child born healthy, or a balance swayed for justice, or soul-mates find each other." Dottie returned. "You tell me, of what value are these things?"
The Man stood silent for several seconds, turning his attention for a moment to Dottie, then back to the old man, as his eyes began to well.
"Is our business done here, sir?" Dottie asked of the Man. "Will you be using the KATM?"
"No, Dottie. Just run the deposit, please. and thank you." The Man said, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I'm gonna see about getting some food in this old guy's stomach."
"then I'm sure we'll see you again soon, sir." Dottie said warmly. and she was right.
end
|
|
